Oh God! Really? Again? were the words that went through my head as my surgeon told me that I had cancer. This time it wasn’t the brain, It as in a completely new area. The stomach! A neuroendocrine Carcinoid sitting in the stomach attached to the pancreas. The good news, it is a stage 1 and localised tumour. The crappy news, it is going to have to come out and surgery is not going to be pretty.
All that was going through my head when I got the news was fuck! After I said it a couple of times, I was ready to hear what the plan was. The operation will take four to five hours and I will have to stay in hospital for up to two weeks. Wholly shit that’s a long time!
I thought that the stomach issues I was experiencing in early December 2017 were just from overindulging from all the Christmas parties that I was attending as one normally does, but after exercising my stomach movements and bringing up my food every four days ovr the proceeding two weeks, I thought something was up and something was not right so, I went to see my GP and was referred to have a Gastroscopy.
Now I had to tell my mum. I knew this was going to be hard. So I found a quiet spo at Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre and called mum. I took a deep breath, “So I have the results of the tests.”
I took another deep breath, “I have cancer.” As soon as I said those words my mum cried. They were the hardest words that I have ever had to tell her.
I wasn’t ready this this. I mean nobody is every ready to be told that they have cancer, but after having cancer at three, two brain tumours and all the other shit that I have had to endure before the age of 29, it’s pretty shit and a lot to endure.
Living with a condition that is unpredictable and unknown absolutely sucks. I just wish for like six months that I could not worry about doctors, I wish I didn’t have to worry about going for tests, going for a scan or having blood sucked out of me after they have poked and prodded me. Is that too much to ask for?
I was really looking forward to seeing what 2018 had on offer for me. I was also told that I had to put some things on hold. There goes university for six months and there goes my trip to Chill Out which I was really looking forward to. I was excited about starting my Bachelor o Social Science at university, I was excited about starting to look for work in the community services sector and I was really excited about continuing my advocacy work.
The only thing that I want to try and do is not have surgery before my birthday. It’s only a couple of days away and if surgery has to happen before, so be it, but let’s hope I can eat my cake and enjoy it (that’s if I can keep it down)
To all of my friends reading this I thank you for the love and support that you give me. This is going to be a scary time for me and I am not looking forward to having a two week stay in hospital. I will be operated at Peter Mac and when visitors are allowed, I would love to see as many of you as you can. Come in for a chat, and company. Only thing is can you not make me laugh?
This sucks, this is really shitty and I really don’t want to do this again. I know that I don’t have an option though. I have kicked cancer’s butt once and I know that I am going to kick it again. Let’s strap ourselves in, put on our safety helmets and ride this rollercoaster. Let’s do this!